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This kind of attitude just works better than the aggressive attitude of “only the strong survive” you find at most martial arts schools. Here, you won’t hear me yelling, “Sweep the leg, Johnny!” Instead, you’ll see me and all the students looking after each other’s safety during a dynamic drill. This mindful and caring attitude is what allows us to practice very intensely without getting hurt. Think about it. Just how good can you get if you spend most of your time sidelined with one injury after another?

Another great place to look is grappling during Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. In most Jiu Jitsu programs, there is a small group of students who just destroy everybody else. These are the big, tough, athletic senior students who often pride themselves in their ability to crush other students with ease. A good day for them is marked by the dejected faces of the lower belts they tap. As far as they are concerned, mercy is for the weak. I’ve rolled with some of these people. I’ve also had the pleasure of grappling with some of the highest ranking BJJ black belts and best partners at Sifu Brown’s School of Martial Arts and at Roger Machado’s school. There is a world of difference in the amount of improvement you make practicing with the right attitude during just one class.

Some will read this and think, wait a minute, how can you really get great if you are never aggressive? I’m not saying that you should never be physically aggressive or that you should never push your partners. On the contrary, it’s 100% necessary. However, if the senior students in a school are only interested in beating down newer students to feed their egos, those lower ranks never stick around long enough to become great partners and a healthy challenge. If your goal really is to get better and perfect your art, it just doesn’t make sense. It’s short-sighted. The best way to get better is to consume yourself with making your partners better. All the students at a school that operates like this will be healthier, happier, and in time much more skilled.

Read more: Part 3

Hear Sifu talk about partners, not opponents